


Please Don't Go

by particulataste



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Break Up, Established Relationship, F/M, Hallucinations, Heartbreak, shawn's a stupid ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 07:59:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16869154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/particulataste/pseuds/particulataste
Summary: In which Shawn wants you to be happy, but doesn’t understand all you need is him.





	Please Don't Go

Your bottom lip quivered, eyes unable to hold back the ongoing tsunami of tears as his words pierced your ears, “I just don’t think I can do this anymore,” with a hand running through his wild locks.

He couldn’t bear to look at you, couldn’t bring himself to see the look of complete and utter devastation on your face. 

Shawn’s own heart was shattering at his words. He only wanted what was best for you, and right now he thought he was giving you that.

You, on the other hand, felt different, “Shawn… I don’t… I-I thought that w-we…” you couldn’t get your words out – it felt as though your heart was crawling its way up your throat, begging to jump into Shawn’s hands and plead for him to not let go. 

You sighed to yourself as another thought crossed your clouded mind, your heart sinking to the pit of your stomach as you slouched back, “there’s someone else, isn’t there,” it wasn’t a question that slipped from your lips, it was a statement. Something you were all too convinced about.

Shawn’s eyes were quick to meet yours; wide and full of heartache and terror. He shook his head vigorously, quickly becoming dizzy from his actions but he still managed to dart across the room and hold your blotchy cheeks in his palms.

“Baby, no. There’s no one else, I swear to you. Honey, you know I’m in love with you and only you,” he explained, voice weak as though he was begging you to understand his love, begging you not to doubt him like that. 

You shook your head slightly, stifling back a cry, “then why are you leaving me? Shawn, why are you breaking my heart like this? I-I thought we were doin’ good. Just last night, y-you were c-cuddling me and holding me like you’d n-never let g-go,” you hiccuped, your vision entirely blurred by the salty tears.

He hated to see you this way. Hated to know he was the cause of your pain and tears even more. 

But at the same time, he couldn’t lead you on. He couldn’t keep pretending this was what he wanted when he didn’t even know himself. 

“We’re so young, Y/N. You shouldn’t be tied down and have to wait for me to come home after months of being on the move,” he tried to explain, but you just shook your head quickly, “but I want to wait for you, Shawn. Don’t you get that? Don’t you see how much I love you?” you sobbed out, brows knitted as anger bubbled within you.

“Am I not enough for you anymore?” 

Shawn couldn’t take the pain in your voice as you asked him the question. He couldn’t stand the emptiness in your once bright eyes. Shawn did the only thing he knew he could and cupped your cheeks as he passionately pressed his lips to yours.

You could taste your tears on his lips as they fell from your cheeks and onto his. You could feel the small vibration of the soft whimper that sounded from his throat as you kissed him back. 

You only hoped he felt the same heartache you did, but he was the one ending things.

Shawn pulled away, the tips of your noses bopping and his warm breath fanned over your mouth, “you are more than enough, and you always will be. Don’t you dare ever think otherwise, you hear me?” his voice was full of dominance and authority, and if it was used in another circumstance, you’d be a little frightful of him. 

“Please don’t go. Shawn, please don’t leave me,” you cried silently, your trembling hands clenching his shirt into weak fists. 

A stray tear slipped from Shawn’s eyes and sunk to the ground before an avalanche them slowly began to consume him. 

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I don’t know if I  _want_ this anymore,” he cursed himself for even thinking those words, let alone uttering them to your face. 

You stumbled back slightly, your body falling numb as you stared at the ground, wishing it would just swallow you whole.

“What  _do_ you want, Shawn?” you whispered, watching his shoulders sag as he let out a huff, “I don’t know,” and quickly ran his hands down his face, hoping it would pull some sense out of his mind. It didn’t.

“I can’t force you to stay, and I can’t force you to love me, even if you already say you do. But for the love of God, please just give me one more night. Shawn, please. If this is it for us, I want to spend tonight in your arms.”

You couldn’t control your breathing, and Shawn couldn’t control the sobs and cries that tore through his throat, “just stay tonight, just one last time, please,” Shawn nodded immediately, pulling you into his chest as you cried in one another’s arms.

He knew you couldn’t watch him walk away, knew you’d rather him leave when you’re sleeping. 

But what would happen from here? Would you talk again? Would he call you in a few days to take your stuff back and get his?

Neither of you knew, and in that moment, neither of you cared. All that mattered was the two of you.

* * *

When morning rose and the events of the night before sunk in, your eyes slowly fluttered open, although you wished they hadn’t. 

Your heart hurt more than last night as you found yourself no longer enveloped in the sweet warmth and safety of Shawn. 

You couldn’t even bring yourself to turn around to see his empty side of the bed. You didn’t want it to be real, you didn’t want to turn around and see him gone. 

Instead, you let out a shaky breath and stifled a sob into your pillow, clutching the fabric close to you when you felt a sudden warmth rub against your back.

You sniffled, “I’ll let you out in a minute, Tilly,” you brushed off the furry friend, but when the warmth ceased to leave, you grew slightly frustrated and closed your eyes with a sigh, “Tilly, I told you I’d – you’re not Tilly,” you breathed, taking in the sight of the shirtless curly haired man you adored.

He breathed out a soft laugh while offering a tired smile, “no, baby. I’m not,” Shawn breathed, eyes puffy and lips swollen. 

“You’re still here,” you could feel the tears prickling at your eyes as a few slipped from Shawn’s. 

He sniffled them back and nodded his head into the pillow, “I don’t know what I was thinking last night. How the fuck could I ever walk away from the love of my life?”

You didn’t bother to hide your sob as Shawn’s thumbs gently wiped away your tears and cupped your pink cheek in his palm. 

“Thought you didn’t know what you wanted,” you reminded him, small hand wrapping around his wrist.

Shawn shook his head, “I want you, I  _need_ you, baby. I’m sorry, I’m  _so_ fucking sorry for everything. I don’t know what was going on with me. I’ve been stressing and my anxiety’s been so bad the past few weeks, but I’m not going anywhere, baby. I promise you, I’m not going anywhere.”

You sobbed into his chest, clinging to him even tighter than the night before as he cried into your hair, “I love you, fuck I love you so fucking much,” you cooed him as he held you closer, “just don’t fucking scare me like that again,” you pleaded through tears.

Shawn released your body, sinking down the bed until his feet were hanging off and your noses were touching, “never, baby. Never again, I swear,” he whispered, kissing you with every fiber of his body – until he decayed into the sheets, leaving you cold of his touch, and most importantly,  _alone_.


End file.
